I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
