i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So much Jack, so little girl.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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