so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
