called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
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