Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
