I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
More tranny stories later!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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