So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
