She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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