Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
