I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
