He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
