And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
