At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
