I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
