I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
