ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
