the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
