Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
