How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize