okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
