i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
