Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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