oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
