She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
