are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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