So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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