Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
