There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
