You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I need water and some morals
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
