I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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