no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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