best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We don't watch enough power rangers
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
