one might say we're banned from that church
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
