Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
