I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
