So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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