Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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