Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Let's paint friendship bongs
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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