I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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