What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
