Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
BRING THE BAGELS
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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