Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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