We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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