wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't deserve a penis
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
