I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
