Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
