I hate your face
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
