Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
false alarm. still invincible.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
