i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
