No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
