Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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