She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just want nice things and good sex
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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