And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize