I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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