how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
