So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
how can u be prego again
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
