how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm sobbing to NWA
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize