You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
