She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
