ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
